The Diary of Antoine Roquentin

I was IMing with Drew tonight, and he asked me to tell him a story. So I just made one up as I went along. Here it is:

Once upon a time, on a douche far far away, lived a girl named Christen

She worked hard in the douche fields to bring home some profit back to her three small children…

Drew: Oh, what a difficult life

…which were named Muscle, Xtreme, and 8. 8 was the most fickle of the trio and could tell fortunes. One day while toiling in the fields Christen had a vision of a key falling from the sky, entwined with swords.

Drew: Ooh

She told the vision to 8 and the other children, and 8 told her that there was to be a great famine. There would be no douches produced for four years while the RoboLocusts descended from Outer Space.

Drew: D:

But Christen had a plan.

On the night when the moon was dark, she snuck out into the douche fields with Xtreme and Muscle and filled her sachel with all the douches they could pick from the fields until sunrise.

When the guards to the plantation came out in the morning, she blinded them with a concoction of moss and special tree bark that 8 had prepared, and stole their spacecrafts they kept locked in the abandoned missile silo where the guards lived. Only the inside was abandoned, you see, as someone had lost the key centuries ago.

Drew: Oooh wow

Stone tablets that had washed ashore on the riverbank downstream from the plantation foretold that one day the key would be found again by a commoner and an even-numbered child.

Christen had never believed in the old folk tales, so she gathered her children in the engine room and took off in the guards’ space ship.

As they shot in a massive arc along the planet, they began to see something behind the reddish moon that would shelter them from the sun’s hottest midday rays.

It was a clump of asteroids that looked like they’d been blasted apart. She moved the ship closer, following the display indicating a cube inside the debris field.

Suddenly, the rocks in the asteroid cluster began to move, and formed into a sphere, leaving just an opening for her. The side of the metal cube clanged as they impacted it and pushed through to the inside.

There was a golden glow from the gash in the hull where they had penetrated the cube, and Muscle crawled out of the incision.

“It’s here, mom…all the douches! All of them!” he screamed.

They all followed him into a golden tunnel of seemingly endless length. Douches, the douches that they had worked from the earth with their endless toil floated around the room.

In the center was a massive key. They floated around the room, grabbing the douches out of the air, but Christen could only see the key.

She took hold of it and hauled it inside the ship.
Reluctantly, her children followed.

She noticed that the key left a residue on her hands. She wiped it on a small cut across 8’s forehead, and it disappeared.

Drew: Ohhh

Interested, she moved towards the gash in the ship and wiped the golden liquid on the frayed and twisted metal. It moved and rended, scaring her at first, as it mended itself.

The ship popped out of the cube and began to hurtle down the gravity well towards their planet, just as the asteroids lost shape and began to drift again.

Warning kalaxons were sounding, and Christen didn’t know what to do, so astounded by the healing of the ship.

So Muscle and Xtreme jumped onto the controls. Arms strong from years of hard work, they pulled the joystick up with all their might, but it would not budge.

“Jerk it hard,” Christen said.

Drew: XD XD

They did, and the craft began to descend in a controlled arc, ending in the massive silo. They landed shakily, and crawled out of the hatch at the back of the craft.

Christen and 8 dragged the massive key towards the door to the siloh.

The rest of the guards did not try to stop her.

With the help of all four of them, she shoved the key into the massive silo door. From somewhere deep underground, a rumbling started, and a fissure appeared in the side of the silo.

it broke in half and each of the sides fell to the ground with a deafening crash. But as the rubble cleared, the residents, who by now had gathered from the fields, saw an old concrete staircase leading down.

Seeing some kind of escape, the villagers rushed down the stairs, feeling a rush of clean, cool air.

At first all they could see was a faint glow of blue above their heads, but as their eyes adjusted, they could see skyscrapers, trains, and other things only spoken about in legends.

Their race truly was one that had conquered the stars, and the overseers had been denying their true nature.

8 picked a house near the grand staircase.

“That one should be ours, Mother.” he said.

THE END.

Drew: ;o;

Me: aww