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September 2007

The Archives

• 09.13.07
  amelioration Ennui | (0)

  We had a long talk and things are better. I was being a douche, so was he. I was being more of one though. I'm sleeping over at his house, 'cause I feel sad and lonely. I think I'll feel better in the morning. Work...woo. Geology was really fun tonight, we learned all about ore and mining and how minerals are deposited. And we identified hella rocks in lab. It was friggin' awesome. I had no idea sulphur was really really light and is bright banana yellow. And that graphite (pencil lead) is pure carbon. That pencil lead is like, the core of all the bonds ...
• 09.12.07
  arguing. Ennui | (1)

  with Terry. on AIM. Over pointless bullshit. This has become my life. (kill me) I'm in the college library plugged into the web Terry is defending positions Matthew Keys and Annie supported. Not a good sign. I've been feeling angsty and shitty for the past week. And since my heart is pounding because of this argument, I can see why. Terry stresses the fuck out of me. I downgraded to Tiger this morning, so I can finally fucking write. I think this Leopard not being able to run VMWare thing was stressing me out more than I thought. I'll catch you guys up on all the drama when my wrists ...
• 09.07.07
  lunch on payday Ennui | (0)

  I'm having an okay day...I'm on lunch, didn't eat any breakfast, so this isn't exactly lunch. I don't really want to be here, but it's better than doing nothing. Last night I couldn't sleep until about three again, even though I'd only gotten a few hours of sleep. I guess I was just in the mood to confess my sins. I don't feel guilty about sex, but I do feel guilty about being so delusional thinking that guys were into me that really weren't. I just want to leave, pick up Terry, head down to Arden Fair, and feel rich for once.
• 09.07.07
  in the night, in my dreams, I’m in love with you Ennui | (1)

  I'm having a bit of a better day. Well, it was up and down. Got tested, didn't pass out this time. Terry met me after work, but he didn't even sit down with me before he invited a friend of his over. Which I wouldn't have minded in the least, except I didn't quite like the friend. Well, she was one of those people where they seem really cool and you're kind of into a groove and then they'll say something that is diametrically opposed to your philosophy of life, and you're just like "oh...maybe not...heh." I'm watching this talk by Nicholas Jitkoff, the developer ...
• 09.05.07
  shitty day Ennui | (1)

  $27 to my name. Getting tested tomorrow. Taking my driving test tomorrow. The fucks at the school won't give me a new semester sticker because I haven't paid for all my classes. Pricks. I should have gotten it right after I paid for the first class. Kafkaesque fucking bullshit. I feel fat and unloved. Terry is still sick. He's been sick for what seems like fucking centuries. My wrists are a frothy sea of pain. No matter what I do, the pain just mutates, changes form, hides in the bones, evolves, sharp to burning, burning to sharp. I'm having a shitty day. But I did all my math ...

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recent posts

• my old design was all right but the sea was so tight, it broke away broke away
• I’m not going to call you when I’m lonely
• please tell me this is the last Christmas at my grandma’s house
• got my scores back today
• strangely isolated place
• daytime so absent-minded
• when you sleep