That I cheated on him with Mario.
How fucking terrible I feel.
The one thing he asked me not to do.
The thing I thought I couldn’t do.
Never in my wildest dreams…betray his trust.
I haven’t cried this much in…actually, I don’t think I’ve ever cried this much.
I never knew how much I cared for him.
Finding the words “break up” took every last shred…it was ripping slices of my heart out.
I don’t want to break up with him.
But he has no reason to forgive me.
I did exactly what he told me not to do.
I am evil.
I am Adrian.
Taggart.
All the people that have hurt me. And I’m in that role now.
Hurting others.
After today, I really want to die.
I can only hurt people and I can never love again.
I don’t fucking deserve anything.
wow…i have to admit, that took a lot of guts to do. i still think you’re a complete, whiney, overly-dramatic douchebag though.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. Been there. My self-loathing landed me in the Sac Sutter ER (you remember… you were there…)
I have no words of wisdom, because I know what a terrible weight it is to hate yourself for something you did and can’t take back…
I think it hurts more to knowingly hurt someone than it is to be hurt by someone else…
I love you kid. Big hugs.