Roads are getting nearer
We cover distance but not together

There’s no room where I can go and
You’ve got secrets too

I don’t know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish

Brian gets off work in ten minutes. I think we’re going to get something to eat. That would make me happy.

I don’t know why, but I’m all about the Röyksopp this week. I went over to Terry’s last night. We got in bed and cuddled, and I finally stopped crying and got to sleep. He was giving me the strangest expression…I guess I was giving off a strange vibe too. It’s just so strange…we like each other so much, but we just have different paths to go on to achieve happiness.

I was texting Aaron (brian’s ex) today…we’re all in this melancholy slump. I think I have a big test in algebra Wednesday, and I still don’t understand this one part. I wish the school was open today, I could go to the tutoring place. But if it was open, then I would be slipping farther behind. I’m always slipping farther behind.

Tried to save myself but myself keeps slipping away…

This one is a little more upbeat, but still sad.

And everywhere I go
There’s always something to remind me
Of another place in time
Where love that traveled far had found me

I don’t know what to feel or think. I just keep staring at my computer screen.

Hoping it will tell me something.

There’s great stuff on Digg…rumors of an Apple ultraportable. Videos of the user interface of Google’s new “Android” phone OS. But I don’t care. Driving back from Terry’s I stopped at Arden Fair, hoping Christen would be there. Hoping that being around people would make me feel less like crying.

I felt like I was in Eyes Wide Shut or Nadja…a movie set during Christmas.

Aaron said that Brian might be on his lunch, so I went down to Country Club. Felt horribly depressed and hungry, got a small sandwich.

Walked back to my scooter. Drove home.

I feel like a machine. A machine that can’t find common denominators for rational expressions.

The song that’s been stuck in my head is “So Easy,” this song that uses this sample from “Blue on Blue.” It’s really depressing.

I dunno…all I can do is listen to music and try not to cry.

So pathetic…I even listened to “Don’t Speak” on repeat for an hour.

And I couldn’t feel more empty and alone.