the diary of antoine roquentin

I had a pretty good day at work…I was not stressing and trying to be meticulous, which paid off. My editor only had a few questions on the stuff I wrote. Awesome.

Worked on the website a little bit too. Check out the front page article, and click on the images. Lightbox, betches!

After work I met Mario at Chipotle and I had a burrito (apparently he’d already eaten) so I had to be very very meticulous about my eating (it’s so easy to end up with a face full of burrito) and not just chow down (which was what I wanted). We had about an hour after I ate, and I suggested going to Crepeville and getting hot apple cider, but that place reminds me too much of people I don’t like.

Well that and nobody I know likes it. Annie and Alex liked it…which I guess is more of an indictment than an endorsement. Hmm.

So we went down to Mario’s place…which I hadn’t been to since the week or so after I broke up with Terry. For some damn reason, the place smells exactly like my old friend Josh’s place. Did I mention that he came down a month or so ago? We had dinner at Tapa’s and talked about our futures. It was really cool. We were really close in CC.

He had Katamari Damacy, which I’d heard about for ages and was very interested in playing. It was actually kind of hard, but SUPER fun. We played until right before the movie, but he lives close to the Tower so we got there right as it was starting. We saw Juno, which had this excellent marketing campaign…it was faux-indie, but still, very funny and touching. It didn’t suck. I think that was what surprised me the most.

And people had showed up in droves to see it too. The parking lot was completely full, and so were all the streets around there. This was a Thursday at like seven.

Sadly, though, the main character actor chick (Ellen Page, thank you, Wikipedia) played nearly the same character she played in Hard Candy. Did I mention seeing that? I think I was a little too disturbed by it to really mention that. She always plays this streetwise too-smart-for-her-age teenage girl. But she is funny.

I was so stoked about getting my BlackBerry…but I called T-Mobile and once all the fees were stacked up, it turned out being around $370 with a mail-in rebate of $50.

So…no.

Fuck RIM. I’m going to wait for the first generation Android devices. Okay, for those of you who I constantly gush about how Android is going to revolutionize the mobile phone industry, cure AIDS, and generally give the world a hand job, skip this.

But everyone else…yeah, Android is going to be a wonderful coup for the industry. Okay, you know that one thing you hate about your phone? With a phone based on Adroid, ANYONE THAT KNOWS HOW TO PROGRAM FOR LINUX WILL BE ABLE TO CHANGE IT.

Want an app that mashes up the times that businesses are open with Google Maps? Done.

Want an app that detects ambient noise levels and automatically turns your phone on silent when you’re in a quiet room? Done.

With Linux (Android is based on the Linux kernel), basically, you can make the phone do whatever the hell you want. And you don’t have to ask Microsoft or RIM for permission.

Which is fucking awesome.

Okay, I’m done with the Android lovefest. I have sort of preliminarily decided on getting a Nokia Internet tablet in lieu of a new smartphone. I’ll be able to do like twenty times more shit on it, and FINALLY I will have a (nearly) full-featured computer small enough to carry around with me.

And I’ll just deal with my shitty phone. Oh, something I learned about Android today is that all those prototype videos

are running on a prototype handset with a 200MHZ ARM processor. Okay, that is fucking insane. My smartphone runs a 312MHZ processor from Texas Instruments and it can barely keep up when I type on the phone keyboard. Yet this prototype in the video can play fucking Quake!

So basically, the days of Windows Mobile being ubiquitous on phones are (thank god) numbered.

So anyway, Zero is in Indianapolis until the first :( but we text all the time so it’s like he’s still here but just a few minutes away.

A friend of mine and I were watching this VH1.com thing about retro 90s music and I cannot stop thinking about how much I used to listen to TLC back in the day.

Fan Mail was a fucking amazing album. I remember when my first and only girlfriend broke up with me, she was paraphrasing the song “Dear Lie,” and we both knew it.

Justina Johnson. I saw her a few years later and she was exactly the same, hanging out with her dropout pothead friends. She gave me this disapproving look. “You’ve changed,” she said. I don’t think I said anything. A leopard doesn’t change its spots, apparently.

So after all of this, I went home hoping to wash my clothes (I was at the absolute bottom of the barrel today wearing my “betch” shirt underneath a coat and corduroy pants, ugh). So I fill up the machine, dump in the soap, look down, and I’m standing in this gushing torrent of water coming from the bottom of the machine.

So yeah. All my clothes. Covered in water and soap, in the leaky washing machine.

Doomed. Doooooooomed.

Meh, I’ll get up early and ask Grammie about it. And if she’s not here, I’ll start freaking out. That or buy some new clothes since I get paid today. Working full-time is strange. So is going to sleep before 1 a.m.

I rather like it, since I like my job. But I’m going to get this huge paycheck from these two weeks of full time and I just don’t know what to spend it on. I already have cool clothes. Hmm. I guess I’ll have something to put in my savings account once again. Awesome!

Categories: Ennui

So I’m done with my finals. I think I did pretty well on my math final. However, on the essay question for geology by a really had no idea what I was writing. But I draw diagrams. Diagrams! That should get me at least some points.

I totally aced all of the multiple-choice questions… so I think I will get a B at least. He posted our lab grades and I got a B in lab. Which is not too shabby.

He gave us back all of the photos that he took of us over the year, and some of them were pretty cool. I totally forgot this one was taken, but it’s (left to right) Nappy, this one guy that ran track; me; Ronda, this cool girl that I had so much fun with on the trip; and Matt, the guy that I was undressing with my eyes all semester. From this picture he looks terrible, but he has the sexiest voice you’ve ever heard.

And then the group picture. I thought that I would hate all of these douchebags after the class was over, but I miss everyone terribly.

It’s very close to the amount of bonding that happened in my speech class. Anyway, it’s all over now. I must forge ahead.

I hated everyone in my math class unequivocally. I’m not sure why. I think the main reason went by the name of Andrew Rutherford. HE WOULD NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL CLASS LONG.

I swear to God.

“I learned this one way… where we take the X… and then like… do it.”

NO. THAT IS NOT A FACTORING TECHNIQUE. THAT IS NOT EVEN A SENTENCE!!!!!!

So I’m praying that he’s not in the next semester. Which of course he will be. I got an A or a B in that class… I guess that’s all I should care about.

During my break between finals I had about three hours to waste, so I drove over to the T-Mobile store on Madison and played with the BlackBerry Curve for a while. I don’t know why, but the guy gave me this shocked look when I told him that Windows Mobile sucks ass. I guess I should have left out the “ass” part. But it was the store’s BlackBerry guy, so it shouldn’t have been such a big surprise. I thought that was kind of strange, but was totally unprepared for the next bit of strangeness.

I was asking him a lot of very technical questions about the underpinnings of the BlackBerry operating system, and he answered them… but you know those cell phone salesman, they will lie to you right up and down. I treat it as my own personal mission to get cell phone sales people to lie straight to my face just to see who is trustworthy and who isn’t. The jury’s still out on him… I haven’t done the research yet. I mostly just wanted to play with the phone more.

So after that I thought I would take a spin over to the Target a block or two down and try to find those elusive LED Christmas lights I want more of. However, as I was driving over, I entered the turn lane behind this guy on one of those fast Japanese sports bikes. It kind of weird when you’re right next to someone and you’re both on motorcycles, so I just stayed about half of a car length behind him. So the light turns green and we all kind of full-throttle it into the Target parking lot. I mean, it must have seemed like I was following him… but let’s face it… we were both going to Target. So I park and walk up to the front entrance.

Helmet on, idling, between the concrete stanchions and the entrance doors, THERE HE IS. He revvs the engine and drives it past me, looking me straight in the eye. I was too confused to even react…a million possible explanations flashed through my mind. But he drove away and was gone. But for a moment there — for one pregnant pause — it was time for me to draw my katana and for us to have some kind of Snow Crash meets Akira battle to the death in front of Target on this drizzly December day.

So of course I immediately called Patrick: “GIRL you will not just BELIEVE what just happened.” I told him the story and he laughed and told me he would call me back. Which he never did. But still. I was like a second away from having my life turned into a movie. Which, when I think about it, is actually pretty damn awesome. We were talking on the phone about how long an epic battle actually lasts. 20 minutes? 45 minutes? Five minutes? I need to know these things.

Either I have a fever or my grandma has the heat on the “surface of the Sun” setting again… both are likely. It’s been a week and three days since my exposure to the MRSA, and quite frankly, I’m very pissed off about the whole affair. Things like this that underscore the fact that I am totally without any sort of health care. What if I really did get this thing? I would have to go to the hospital and they would send me a bill for like $5,000.

[UPDATE: I'm feeling fine, even though my nose has been running nonstop since October.]

Being an American sucks.

I worked on another one of my paintings tonight. I thought it was going to look really awesome, but the actual thing ended up looking less than stellar. It wasn’t the look and was going for, but maybe I will grow to like it. I tried to take a picture of it, but my yellow walls make pictures turn out all fucked up.

I have work tomorrow and it’s probably going to be raining like crazy again. It’s supposed to rain all week. Which normally I wouldn’t care about, but you have to have a death wish to drive any two-wheeled vehicle in the rain. So it’s the bus for me. Hell, at least I’ll get some hardcore reading done.

Well, I’m going to make some tea and watch The Happiness of the Katakuris. Back when Adrian and I were dating, everyone that we knew had that movie in their MySpace “movies” box and we put it in ours even though we’d never seen it as a kind of inside joke. So I’m going to watch it. And it won’t be a joke any more.

I also got In The Company of Men, which I’d seen before but wanted to watch again. It is a fucking amazing movie. Go rent it!

Categories: Ennui

So I had a pretty fun night tonight. Brian called me and see what out with Katie who I adore but rarely see. Also, the last time we hung out it was kind of strange because this guy that she was dating was a big loser.

But she broke up with him and all is well in the universe. We went over to Katie’s house, had some gumbo, watched some Family Guy, and I kept texting jokes to Brian.

After that we headed down to visit Josh, this guy that we had met a while ago that works with Katie. Katie ended up locking her keys in her car so we spent about an hour trying to get it open again. Luckily, two good Samaritans showed up and finally got it open. It was amazing, this hispanic guy and this black guy working in the two front doors, with Brian, the boyfriend guy, and I working on the two backdoor with wire hangers that we had gone over and bought at Long’s drugs.

After it was all over, I took a picture.

After that, we went down to the Starbucks where Katie works. We all talked for awhile, and then Katie went and dropped everyone off. It was only about 10:30, but that’s very late for Katie. She has to get up and open the store at like four every morning.

So I’m making some food and Zero just called me, he invited me to this party. And normally I am not the kind of person that goes to parties, but it might be fun with Zero. And if not, I’ve got my own transportation, so I can head out the moment I’m bored.

In making this tortellini which takes like 20 minutes to boil… I’m just going to eat it half-raw, ’cause I’m hungry and I want something cool to happen tonight.

I want to have an awesome weekend. I went jogging this morning, I got up to 20 minutes. That’s like four laps around my block, which is friggin’ awesome.

I talked to Brian on Friday and he told me that he wasn’t mad at me just that he thought that it was very soon after Terry and that he didn’t approve of the way I went about it, whether it had been Zero or any guy.

I still think about Terry more than I should. It’s so easy to call someone a vacuous retail bimbo, but he satisfied a lot of my deep-seated needs… and he cute in this kind of dead-inside doomed my-mother-never-loved-me-so-its-impossible-for-me-to-form-real-relationships way… and when he had his mask on, he was very easy to get along with.

A month or two ago Christen was telling me that the only person that she ever saw me with where she felt like it was really my capital-B boyfriend was Adrian. When we hung out this one time on the roof of this parking structure, she was like “well… it was just kind of like you and me…and then this random other guy.”

So I guess Sam has a staph infection. He called me up all dramatically because he said I should get tested or some crap. I’m not sick. And he got it like a week after we made out. The weeklong interim involved him getting a tattoo and sleeping with some random Russian guy.

It’s so strange… many of my preconceptions that I had about Sam were actually true about Zero and all of my preconceptions about Zero were actually sure about Sam. I guess the moral of the story is that I have absolutely no clue how to read people.

I’m not really in the mood to go out to party, but I never am. Well, I used to have a lot of fun of the parties that Kelly used to have at our house, but mostly because those were all my really close friends at the time.

He just called me and he’s there and I just finished my food, so I’m going to eat and then head out.

MMm….steamed vegetables and tortellini.

I need to overcome my shyness and be one of the cool kids. :P

Categories: Ennui

I was searching for my music collection to try and find something that represented what I’m going through right now… and strangely enough, I found it.

Mario instant messaged me tonight. He said that he can’t talk to me anymore because he “has deep feelings for me” and I don’t have any for him.

Which isn’t completely true. I like hanging out with him… mostly because he’s the most doomed person I know. Someone with adequate money, friends, but still very, very unhappy. He’s also really awkward… endlessly playing on his iPhone…making those faint throat-clearing sounds that increase in intensity whenever he’s uncomfortable.

I don’t know… I wanted to date him just to fulfill his dream of there being something better in life, but that isn’t a reason to really date somebody. He just seemed so lost…and so alone…and I just wanted to do something to make his life less horrible, but I couldn’t. He had good taste in movies and music and stuff, but he just didn’t do it for me. I can’t explain it.

Friend number two that I lost tonight was Sam. Well, I guess the seed of that was planted a while ago, but I called Brian after he got off work. We were on the phone maybe five minutes, and all he could say was that Sam was mad at me (gee, news flash). He had that “you are a terrible person” tone in his voice.

He dropped this hint that Sam had a blog, and that Sam was probably mad that I had read it or something like that. It was some tiny link on his Facebook… to tell you the truth, I haven’t really looked at his Facebook at all. I just went on it and it says that he’s crying. It was updated 40 minutes ago. He is going to send them a text message to try and make them feel better, but he told me only to talk to him “when all this Zero bs is over and done with and you’ve had time to actually think.”

He’s right, I haven’t had time to think about anything. I found that as I get older, everything just becomes so epic and complicated that when you think about issues, a hundred more spread out…every situation, years of corollaries, mountains of evidence, every glance and comment to be weighed for its veracity. Everything explodes out of proportion infinitely, and I feel like I’m left with nothing. This rift with Kelly will probably never be repaired. I was considering calling her this Christmas, but I’m just not willing to apologize. I don’t think she is either.

I guess I just need to stop overanalyzing relationships. I haven’t seen Christen lately as much as I’d like to… but I feel like I’m being a needy friend if I call her all the time.

Also it feels like there’s this big rift between Brian and I.

I’m satisfied physically and emotionally and I feel guilty about it. I’m disappointed in all of my friends when they get into a relationship and they don’t have as much time to devote to me. I mean, I know that it’s unfair but you do miss it. And for Brian, I guess it’s not only that but my being totally in the wrong with the Sam thing.

I want to be friends with people so I unintentionally of lead them on. I mean, maybe it would’ve been better if I just said “Mario, I’m not into you. I’m never going to date you.” But it wouldn’t have been true. I might have ended up dating him, but it didn’t turn out that way.

When I would have fun with Zero, I felt like it was just going to be a fluke. Oh, surely I’ll get sick of all this. Surely, he will be douchebag. Oh, I don’t like it when he does ___. And then I was all “Hey, you should ____, I don’t like ____ so maybe we could ___” You know, stuff like that. And it’s the old thing with me of the things I hate when I first am exposed to them I end up loving.

But he was an awesome conversationalist and a grade-A cuddler. Which made everything that was going on with Sam so precarious, because just as Sam was actually asking me out it was coming to the point where I was starting to admit to myself how much a genuinely enjoyed being around Zero. And then with the hours of homework, all this cramming for finals, my car breaking down… it was just this tumultuous avalanche of three people pursuing me and I was just overloaded.

Mario endlessly instant messaging me about the next Latino band he was obsessed with, Sam and I getting to know each other with the increasingly uncomfortable subtext of him being interested in me, and then the days where I’d wake up next to Zero… I just felt like it was this oncoming three-way train wreck… and I was trying to guide everything so that it didn’t end up being destroyed.

The only thing I can think that comes close is one time I was ice-skating on the East Coast and I lost my balance and wasn’t able to turn. My brain calculated the trajectory, and I was definitely going to hit this little girl… so instead of crashing into her full force, I grabbed her and picked her up right before I would’ve hit her, and then somehow managed to stop. But it was still really embarrassing. The girl had this expression on her face like “what the fuck are you doing?” and maybe nobody else in the rink had noticed that I was going to hit her before that…but the thing that was obvious was that I had just picked up a stranger…and knew there wasn’t going to be any kind of good ending. I did prevent her from getting hurt, but it was really embarrassing and afterwards I felt like I should have just crashed into her. I mean, it’s a risk you take when you skate. But I convinced myself that I did the right thing.

So, if you’ll excuse the odd metaphor, it was like I was barreling towards Sam and Mario and their was just nothing I could do to stop their feelings getting hurt. Which is why I feel really guilty and conflicted… and I have a hard time talking to Brian, who is obviously hearing about what this is doing to Sam.

It’s nearly 2 a.m. The bottle of violet that I needed to finish my painting is sitting here in its oddly condom shaped bag (apparently Utrecht has bags designed for just tubes of paint), but I won’t get to do anything with it until tomorrow.

My grandma wants to go out and get a Christmas tree tomorrow. I have no idea where to go. She asked me if I knew which kind to get. I wanted to respond with “The kind that’s a tree?”

About a month ago, I threw away a lot of old photos that I had scanned in (a lot of those were of me and Andrew Taggart), and I am finding them EVERYWHERE. Two weeks ago there were three photos arranged in my bathroom. I took them. Today I found five more piled on the breakfast bar. I angrily ripped them up and threw them in my wastebasket.

I am seriously going to have to wait until trash day and then go out and empty my wastebasket after she’s gone to sleep. BITCH GOES THROUGH THE TRASH.

Sometimes, I hate my grandma.

She also left me this note telling me I needed to clean the kitchen. I had just come home with a bag of groceries. Bitch.

I should leave her a note.

“Was going to shank you, decided to get you some nice delicious fruits and vegetables instead. Have a fucktacular day, bitch.”

Whatever. Bitch is too crazy to know that I have finals.

I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt that my mom and me and Zero were at my old house in Crescent City. The place was all dusty but it was sunny outside and the neighborhood kids were out playing. Zero was throwing a stick to my old dog Rose throughout the dream.

My mom unlocked the door of our old place, and everything was just as we left it. My big blue fish Max in his tank, our cats Lucky and Sukiyaki Tsunami. I asked my mom “did you pay the rent here all this time?” And she smiled and nodded. She had saved this little slice of our life, our one and only home.

I just teared up writing that. I miss the feeling of having a home. I miss our pets. I miss my mom. I miss Rose. She had so much personality, even though she was disobedient as all hell.

I just get so sad when I think that everything that I’ve loved is gone. I didn’t have much of a problem with this when I was 17, but as I get older, I have five or so years of friends, lovers, and hangouts that are just…gone. I often think of this one evening at the beautiful Endert’s Beach. My friends and I had gone camping for the weekend, and one evening Tawna and I went down to the ocean to watch the sunset. I don’t think we had even planned it that way, our friends were being grouchy so we took a walk and sat down on this big rock that overlooked the sea. The sun was going slowly into the waves. We didn’t say anything for hours, it just listened to the birds and the waves…I just had this profound sense that everything was going to be okay.

Of course, there was some big blowout with the friends that were up at the campsite….we had run out of food and everyone came down to fetch us. Tanya and I wanted to stay, but reluctantly, we started hiking back to the camp.

If only I could live in that moment forever.

It’s the office christmas party for the second year…it’s so strange to see that flyer circling around work. The year before it was neon green. Sign up for the potluck, the secret Santa crap. I got my boss’s Christmas card. Got some candy for my secret santa person. Another year goes by, and things seem to be looking up, but it seems like the things that are most precious to me (my friendships) are slipping away.

I guess the message of that dream was that my mom and I both have the dream of a true home, and she has been keeping the dream alive (as have I). I just hope we both live to make it come true.

Categories: Ennui

I’ve been working on my math homework nearly all night long. And honestly, I’m not making a whole bunch of progress. I finished most of Chapter 10 and some of Chapter 11… but there are huge gaps in my knowledge because she is making us skip every other section because we are totally behind. Behind as in let’s cram three chapters into three weeks.

I tried to do the last section that she assigned, and I just did not get the right answer at all. And I was doing them in class and getting the right answer. Lame.

The final is Wednesday. Well, next Wednesday.. I have a whole bunch of stuff to study on geology final. I think I’m going to totally bomb that. He asks us all these insane vague questions, like “why is this area the way that it is?” And he gives us like twenty different explanations of why it could be like that.

Work wasn’t bad, I’m wearing down the big stack of shit I need to digitize and add to the database.

After work, I went down to the downtown plaza and got my movies back from Terry. We were going to have lunch (his idea), but then he said that he had read my blog and that he wasn’t sure or something like that? So I just grabbed the movies and split.

And, for all of you, a lesson in tact from yours truly: do not go to meet your ex with a huge hickey showing.

So, cat out of the bag, Zero and I are sort of unofficially/officially dating or something. Well, we’re having a lot of sex…and a lot of cuddling, and a lot of talking about literature. He’s interested in literature and good indie films, and we get along well. However, he’s very high-strung, and it can be exhausting, but it’s never boring.

I’ve been hanging out with Sam too, and I haven’t quite figured him out yet. He might drop by for a bit after work (he gets off very late). I’m just really stressed out about my math. If only she would have just given us the Chapter 6 test and gone on to new stuff (nobody understood chapter 6 and it took like a month). I still don’t understand Chapter 6. It has something to do with canceling fractions…or maybe the war of 1812…seriously, I couldn’t tell you.

I was talking with Christen last night and I wasn’t really quite sure what to say about Zero and I. it’s my old pattern… jump to something crazily and then be totally freaked out when the person is very different than my image of them. I don’t know whether that’s really happening… I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have any feelings for Terry still, no matter how how irrational they are. And then this huge workload for school is making it so that I really don’t have any time to think about what’s going on.

Maybe overanalyzing things is where I’m going wrong.

Tery called me tonight, sounding distraught, and said something to the effect of that he wanted to pour his heart out to me but that I would write about it. I didn’t know what to say. I mean, I’m not going to promise not to write about anything. Is that unfair? Probably.

Always, I’m of the opinion that everything is better out in the open. I was talking with Sam about that earlier today. He agrees. He says that when he wants to say important things, they always come out wrong. And I’m the same way.

I don’t know… I feel like the book is closed on Terry. My friends ask me “how did you ever even talk to him?” I’ll think really hard about it and have no fucking clue. We would talk a lot about Star Trek, we would ignore each other and stare at our laptop screens, but as for actual talking… all I can remember are arguments.

After it, I cried, I felt like I was going to die for a few weeks, but I got better. While I may not have the superficial comraderie of my Macy’s team, I have friends that I’ve known my whole life (and some awesome new ones) to talk to and work through this.

Interesting side note: Zero actually talked to Terry about a year ago, and all that Terry talked about was dressing in drag. It was a really embarrassing conversation to read…I feel sorry for him. But then again, flip through my archives and you will find some of the most half-baked ridiculousness you’ve seen. Let’s see…I was 19 in 2004. Let’s see…what was I doing this date in 2004.

Secretly I can’t wait to get back to my sad pathetic life in what Becky aptly calls “another dimension.” I can’t wait to work so hard in pursuit of my pathetic little goals. It amuses me to have the “metacognition” (is that the right word?) to know that my life is meaningless and that everything that I tell myself will make me happy won’t. I know that all my hopes are pointless, all my education is pointless. Stupid people will join me in the same place, doing the same thing: rotting in the ground. I don’t know what the point is. All I know is that I’m a machine. I’m a reading machine and a fucking machine and a web design machine and a computer operating machine and a party machine. I hate being a machine. I hate being an animal. I want to be something pure, something real, something that matters…but nothing matters. Nothing will ever matter. Hope is doublethink. God is doublethink. I know what I feel. It’s existence. Sickening…I can feel the blood sucking through my animal veins, my arm…typing…all the muscles and tendons jerking like corpses stimulated with electricity–I can feel my arm…my rib cage…it won’t go away…I can feel all of their existence…it’s so fucking disgusting. There is no escape. There never is any escape.

Well, I was channeling Jean-Paul Sartre… so not a good example, but still.

So I’m having fun and progressing towards my diploma…which I guess is what I’ve been doing all along.

Mario called me tonight… he’s had some kind of concert. I say “some kind of” because it’s Tigan and Sara (the nexus of EEVIL). Everyone that I know that likes them is Evil. Yeah, that’s capital-E Evil to you.

If my credit card isn’t totally overdrawn by Friday, I’m going to go over to Zero’s house and make some Italian food. If I’m there for more than five minutes and we’re not having sex, than I’m going to say that we’re dating. And if we are having sex, then I’ll also say we’re dating.

He even said we should get lube. Do you have any idea what then of the commitment that is?

This is how long Terry and I lasted.

LOOK AT IT!

It’s a barometer of how successful your relationship is. I was on the phone with Brian on my class break yesterday eagerly hashing out the permutations.

“Well I could get a very small bottle and then it would run out and it wouldn’t be bad…”

“Yeah, I did that with Erin and we didn’t even finish it”

“Shit! Shit. Options… well, I could get a huge bottle and then it would be like impossible use it all so it wouldn’t be that much of a measure of success at all. Or would I then have this huge bottle of lube that reminded me of him…OH GOD THE CHOICES!!”

(totally joking, of course)

I don’t know why, but today is all about Luxxury. “Drunk (expensive mix)” rocks.

All right, it’s that time again. What time, you ask?

Quadratic equation time. Oh yeah.

(I also added a post that was hidden before, scroll down if you dare)

Categories: Ennui