So I had a really fun weekend.

I denied myself all worldly pleasures Friday and Saturday, just doing homework nonstop.

But at about midnight on Saturday, I had reached an impasse. There was no point in going on, because I just could not get this new method of manipulating rational equations.

I had been instant messaging Chris from Davis for a while, and he was going to this thing called Club 241 where they have some avant-garde techno stuff, and it seemed rather interesting, so at midnight I got ready and left. I made record time downtown…26 minutes! Unfortunately, no one was there. Chris was there, and we talked outside for a while but they were just about ready to shut the place down. When we went inside, they were playing some cool music for the last 10 minutes or so… Donna Summer and some Italo disco tracks, on which Chris is the ultimate expert.

The place was winding down, but he did say that Silk (a club in Del Paso Heights) was having some kind of electronic music thing, so we decided to drive down and check it out. It was actually really fun… it was a very straight centric kind of place, although there were a few of our kind mixed in. They played a few songs that I knew, and we made terrible jokes about 9/11. Chris knew like every sample… it was crazy.

About 2:30 we decided to head out, and I drove home.

Today was the day of the wedding. I got up, jogged down to the corner store and got a new toothbrush, made breakfast, and got ready for the wedding.

At the last minute, I realized I had absolutely no formal shoes, so Zero agreed to lend me some. I was wearing my Express slacks (which, uh, barely fit…although I’m jogging like every other day now…go figure) and a lint-attracting black silkish shirt. The wedding was really fun, it turns out I had actually met the groom before at a party, and there were a bunch of zero’s friends that I had already made their acquaintance.

The wedding had this awesome Willy Wonka meets Mary Poppins kind of feel. Mari dressed up as Willy Wonka (with a little bit of Charles Dickens thrown in) and gave this little speech at the beginning of the wedding. This other girl who looked so much like Kate from my high school had this awesome corset and would have fit right in in any steampunk situation.

The whole night Zero was wearing my kilt and blazer…and tie, and he got all bunch of credit for it. I really do need some dress shoes. There was this Scottish thing going on and all of the best man people were in kilts, which looked oddly hot.

There was this one guy there, I don’t know what it was about him, but he graduated into the “I…will…suck your dick right now if you ask me…” category. I wish there was some kind of international signal for that which carried no social stigma. *gestuculating* *bathroom…now….sir*

So there were hors d’oeuvres, dancing, vows, the whole 9 yards. It was held in the library downtown, which was actually a really nice venue. I had a lot of fun. I had been texting Andrew through the night, and we had kinda sorta maybe planned to hang out that night, but since the wedding ended at about 9 p.m. that made it rather doable.

So I headed down to where he was at around 20th and we walked down to the Alhambra Safeway… and then ended up at the Safeway on N street… and then ended up on this parking garage near Naked Lounge with an amazing view of the city. We were talking about zombies and trash TV… I think this is the least awkward meeting that we’ve had so far. I don’t know what it is… but I had this meta-moment of “wow, we’ve been talking for hours…we must have a lot in common…”

When we were younger I was so awed by the idea of a First Love that I never really got to know him.

It was a really nice night to walk around, and when I was to depart we hugged and he told me that he really liked seeing me, and I said the same. We were both in this odd coy mode…I could see it in his face. I was in it too…it’s just been, well, a while to just be around someone that I bounced ideas off so well that it became effortless.

We hugged, and I scootered away. So I get to the Fair Oaks Bridge, and there are those “do not cross” things that are kind of like sandwich signs, three in each lane. So I flipped up my visor and looked over at the next car. It was this cute girl in a white Lexus and we kind of had this “are we on candid camera?” moment. “I’m…uh…going to move one… is that cool?” She smiled. “Please? It would be great.” I went up to one of them and looked behind me, a few more cars had shown up. “Is that a cop?” I asked. “It’s totally OK…I’ll cover you,” she replied. So I moved one of the things out of the way so she could get through. “This is probably terribly illegal… what if the bridge is out?” I joked. “I’ll go first and lead the way,” she laughed. And with that, we both went across the bridge, and went on towards home.

After we went across the thing and were waiting at the next light, I flipped up my visor and was all “We made it!” and we had a little cheer.

It was just a really awesome stranger experience. Usually all my stranger experiences suck, but that girl totally renewed my faith in humanity.

So earlier that day, there had been this huge, and I mean HUGE traffic jam at Arden. I mean, like, 10 times bigger than the usual traffic jam there. One of the high tension power lines that goes through that area came down and they had this huge crane holding it up and cars going every which way. It was an incredible sight to behold…I wish I’d taken pictures, but all the stop lights weren’t working and it was every man for himself.

I don’t know…hanging out with Zero is really weird. I mean, I enjoy hanging out with him…but we’re in this really fucking weird time where we should be hanging out less and less since we’re not dating. I need a period of not talking to him if we’re really going to be friends. I have this uncomfortable feeling that he still wants to be with me. It’s just weird…like, he’ll be over at my house, and if we were dating I’d be like “oh, let’s have sex” but I’m like “okay…let’s watch Star Trek?” It’s just really fucking weird…it’s this zombie of a relationship that wasn’t a relationship to begin with, but became self-aware, passed a Turing test, and yeah.

I just need to hang out with Zero much much less over the coming weeks. We were already doing the thing where we start to copy each other’s mannerisms. And this has to be taking a toll on him too…I’m just sick of feeling vaguely uncomfortable around him. The relationship thing needs to die. He needs to start dating. Fucking Mario doesn’t count, ’cause Mario is…as Sam put it…not a person.

It’s weird, Sam called me right as I was editing the bit about wanting to fuck that guy…we’re on the same wavelength. The cock wavelength?

I often wonder how my days would be if Sam was here. We’d be going to the Bolt, living like decadent bitches. I wonder if I’d get any homework done. Probably not. I didn’t finish my goal of getting chapter five done, but maybe I can work on it tomorrow morning.

I hellza miss Sam.

Small sidenote, Brian bailed on us with the Goldfrapp thing. Turns out April 26th is Johnny’s birthday.

And Johnny can’t just celebrate it another day or celebrate it until 5 p.m. when we’d be leaving. Johnny told him he’d break up with him if he didn’t stay with him every single hour of his birthday.

Which gave me this AMAZING flashback.

Remember when Adrian threatened to break up with me if I went to see Massive Attack? Oh, memories. The Cingular store we had all those arguments around is gone even. Crazy shit.

Adrian sent me an e-mail last week… it’s always when I write posts that are maudlin and soul-searching that I get e-mail responses from him or Matthew Keys…it’s really eerie how similar they are. I never get a comment on like a post about a great party or fun walk around Capitol Park… it’s always Kick Antoine when he’s Down time.

Which I expect and appreciate, but still. Adrian, I’m not pining for you. I’m pining for someone a bit like you who’s not a manipulative attention whore pill-popping egomaniac with an entitlement complex.

Enough adjectives in that sentence for you? Thought so.

Aaaaaanyway, it’s time for me to hit the hay.

And I’m sorry for being angry with you Patrick, I <3. Eeeeven though you’re fucking someone that’s not me, and that’s kind of hard for me to swallow, still and will always <3 you.