Music is “18 Ghosts II” by Nine Inch Nails, from Ghosts. He licenses his music as Creative Commons so I can use it for cool stuff :)

So we’ve taken off…the right engine was making this weird noise and I was watching it intently, sure it was going to suck in a goose and explode or something. But thankfully, we’re aloft.

Man, my battery kind of…uh, sucks. It estimates I’ll only have four hours. Laaame.

It’s weird…the whole plane thing seems this big farce. I guess my brain just has some kind of problem believing in flight. Intellectually, I know I’m flying at 10,000 feet going 600 miles an hour, but every moment I expect to look out the window and see people shaking tin foil and refilling fog machines.

I think it’s my Ballardesque notion that everything is just a glamourous commercial filmed in Shepperton.

It’s odd, I’m in the first seat in coach, facing the wall. I was counting on stuffing my suitcase under the seat…but no seat. Thanks for that mundane curveball, existence. Apparently it’s in first class.

I work all year for this. Feeling that lightness as I leave the ground, knowing I’ll soon be with my real family on the East Coast.

I want to spend as much time with my grandma Jean before…well…you know. She’s so amazing, I love her. She has such a great sense of humor, and she is such an in-your-face get-things-done kind of person. It’s the mentality there.

After this afteroon, I just had so much fun I want to like live it over again. It’s like I’d forgot what hanging out with people who aren’t soulless assholes is like, and I’m very happy about it.

When The Fragile stars making more and more sense, you know some big change is happening. And I choose to stay away from people who make me feel less like a human. There are many Marios in this world, unfortunately.

So tired, yet I just want to write. I want to leap for joy…I won’t be leaping if I don’t get any sleep tonight.

But this is what I’ve worked so hard all these months for. free.

free.

Free.

FREE

FRRREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Of everything.

Not of the people I love, but of those who bring me down.

I thank the gods for these trips. They give me such perspective. I am so lucky to have everything I have. Actually, I’m just lucky to have my mom.

She’s the reason I’m not like, dead in a gutter somewhere.

Mmmm…airline peanuts.

I feel like I should be documenting these flights in every way possible, because my kids are totally not going to believe that these things existed.

Must listen to more Jesus and Mary Chain, but can’t download music ’cause I’m in the air.

I want to watch a movie, but there’s a sleeping little girl in the next seat…I looked through every single movie I have on my computer, and (aside from Labyrinth, possibly) there isn’t a one that doesn’t have something objectionable. Weird.

Fuck it, I’m watching the Goldfrapp tour DVD. The one with just the Felt Mountain stuff on it.

That’s better.

I think I’m just having emotional overload these last two days. It’s 10 minutes until the end of August 1.

These days I’ll never get back. I guess that’s ok.

I just used this time to make my portfolio again…I had the .css file, I guess that would have been harder to recreate. I’ll upload it when I get back to connectivity.

Well, it’s 11:50 p.m., so I’m going to put my MacBook away and try to get some sleep.

*plays Poe on his N95, snuggles up under his jacket*

You thought you could keep me from loving
You thought you could feed on my soul
But while you were busy destroying my life
What was half in me has become whole