I really didn’t need that contact lens. No, not at all. I mean, I know I probably shouldn’t have opened my eyes while I was inside you, but still…come on. I know you’re pretty vain, Atlantic Ocean, but really…trust me…you don’t need a contact lens.

I had to come all the way back to the hotel room and miss a good 30 minutes of beach time because of you. I hope the lens works really great on your date with the Pacific,

–A. R.