Monthly Archives: March 2009

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This weekend was… great and terrible. I left Sacramento on Thursday night with only $17 in my bank account. Miraculously, I found myself outside the Independent with 20 minutes until the opening act. Taylor showed up a bit later, and we watched the horrible opening band (Project Jenny / Project Jan), and then the much better second opening act, Pop Levi. The actual show was amazing.

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The show was exactly what I expected, he performed the songs perfectly, with that aloof grace that I had imagined. The lead singer was actually really cute too…I hadn’t thought he was hot until I saw him. I even got a SETLIST!

After the show, I was pretty exhausted so I just went to sleep. The next day was my bay area odyssey to bring my uncle his leg brace from his house so he could do physical therapy. I left at about eight o’clock in the morning, and didn’t get back to San Francisco proper until midnight.

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First leg: BART to Fremont -> Express bus to San Jose -> 2 bus connections to the hospital *got his keys*

Second leg: 2 bus connections to the CalTrain, Caltrain to his apartment *got the leg brace*

Third leg: CalTrain, 2 buses back to the hospital *gave him his clothes and the brace*

Final leg: 2 buses to CalTrain to BART back to San Francisco *mission accomplished*

Without Google Transit, this mission would have failed fantastically. I’m so addicted to my data plan and the instant ability to know anything… it’s like my mind is hooked up to ISDN.

On Saturday, we weren’t really sure what to do so we went down to the Civic Center area and I went to the T-Mobile store to ogle a G1. I had gotten paid the day before and was reaching an impasse with my N95. I was starting to get Nintendo thumb from endlessly pushing the D-pad and endlessly deleting its misspelled T9 words. I mean, I love the N95, but its three flaws build up and build up over time in annoyance.

1. No keyboard

2. No 3G, so web browsing is slooooooow

3. No touchscreen

So I gave in and I bought the device that I always said I would buy, the Android-powered G1, from T-Mobile (HTC is the company that really builds the thing, that’s the company that made my T-Mo Dash, which had impressive hardware crippled with Windows Mobile).

I had sufficiently played with one about a month earlier when they came out (I had gone to the T-Mo store, grabbed a demo model and manhandled it for about three hours), so there wasn’t much of a learning curve.

T-Mobile G1

Preliminary impressions: FUCKING AWESOME, with one caveat

1. Multitasking = awesome — One of the biggest annoying things about the N95 is that you continually have to go in and exit programs, so much that it was almost like a nervous tic: I would take out my phone and make sure no superfluous programs were running and sapping my battery life.

2. Good attention to detail — It has auto correction, so if you type in “dont,” it automatically fills in the apostrophe. UI is consistent throughout applications, and cut-and-paste (while it existed in theory on the N95) is dead simple on the G1.

3. IT HAS 3G. It browses the web at near-wifi speed, which is amazing.

4. FULL KEYBOARD. It even has a row of number keys.

Caveats:

1. Battery life sucks. Sucks sucks sucks. I’m going to have to get a huge extended battery for it which will make the device more brick-like.

2. No 3G reception at my house, which isn’t crucial (I have wifi anyway, but tethered 3G Internet is great when Grammie unplugs my router (happening more often as she loses her sanity).

Oh, by the way, here’s one of her “assemblages,” as I’m calling them. I need to have a dementia art exhibition.

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“The Robbers come in through the locked glass door” — Found art: ceramic bird, broken magazine holder repaired with blue electrical tape, fireplace implement, drawn blinds.

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“They won’t come in the garage door either” — Found art: Screen door wedged between washing machine and Buick, barbecue box, plant trellis.

When I got home on Sunday she had strung a tablecloth across the main window in the kitchen and left a note in spidery handwriting to “not take down the curtain.” Curtain. Yeah.

Anyway, after I got my G1, we headed to Ocean Beach. It was a fantastic day, sunny and warm (well, San Francisco warm, I was still ensconced in my wool peacoat), but at least it was sunny.

We returned from the beach and got some Korean food, then met up with my friend Josh and we went to see a marathon of all of the classic Star Trek movies at the Castro Theatre. We saw Star Trek III and Star Trek IV.

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I hadn’t seen them since I was like 13, and watching them again I was aware of so many different levels of meaning that I didn’t pick up the first way through, namely how obviously gay Sulu was and how ridiculous William Shatner’s overacting was in that series.

Oscar Nominated

After that, we hung out with some of Josh’s friends who were really cool, they gave us a ride to another movie theater where we met some of Taylor’s friends and saw a special midnight showing of the 1997 Palme d’Or winner, Spice World.

Kelly and I used to watch it all the time and listen to that stupid CD… that movie is just so ridiculous and hilarious I can’t even talk about it. I met Taylor’s best friend (or someone who shares his name) and another friend of his. I had a great time… as we were waiting for the bus we were talking about everything from Strangers with Candy to François Truffaut, and watching all of these drunk 15-year-old girls run up and down the hill while they waited for the bus.

By the end of that night my knee was feeling really bad (it’s been getting better since I’ve been taking glucosamine, but that endless trip to Palo Alto killed it). I decided to come home on Sunday.

We were on the train maybe 15 minutes before it stopped at Fairfield and they loaded us onto buses. I felt like it was this grand episode of a new reality show “Ha! You spent $5 more than a bus ticket, and now guess what? You’re crammed inside a fucking bus!”

I had a coffee date with Andrew at Temple, then we migrated to the Depot to have some drinks. On the way, we got tacos and then ran into Midtown Josh, the drama queen whorebag extraordinaire (86ed from the Co-Op, of all places). I guess that’s an unfair characterization, I actually love Midtown Josh, he is the epitome of a bit character in a novel. Endlessly tries to sleep with as many people as possible, will foist himself on straight guys with no provocation…okay, I’m trying to get across that he’s really fun but has a lot of character flaws. A pitcher or two later, Andrew and I are trying very hard to kick each other’s ass at pool, and Josh and I are playing hilarious Onion videos on our phones.

In a wondrous oversight, I forgot to ask the combination for the security system for the building that I left my scooter in the weekend before, so Christen graciously let me sleep on her couch. We had a really great night… she made this awesome concoction with macaroni and cheese and broccoli and we watched Solitary and Cops. The Cops episode was especially hilarious because by some fluke it took place in Sacramento and we were trying to look at the signs to deduce exactly where it was… we suspected that one of the establishing shots was Garden Highway, and we were totally right, all the shit went down off of Northgate Blvd.

I left work early today because the Internet wasn’t working and AT&T couldn’t figure it out. I also found out that tethering my G1 isn’t officially supported and I have to do a pretty complicated process to get it working. I’m sure I will feel like figuring it out once I’m stranded somewhere with an unreliable connection.

I would like to say that I’m going to spend the week recuperating, but that’s not the case. Wednesday night I’m going back to help my mom help my uncle move out of his Burlingame condo and accompany him back to New Jersey on Sunday.

It seems like my family is doing a coordinated evacuation of California. I got all my documents yesterday, I have my school e-mail address and can log in and I have a student ID number and all that. Now I just have to do my FAFSA.

Well, I should probably sit down and finish the rest of Repulsion.

Categories: Ennui

Published:
March 9, 2009 – 10:29 pm
Author:
By A.

Transparent things and concerts 1

I’m on the train, writing a post in this janky application called Wavelog. For some reason, it formats the type in completely-unreadable 5 point type that’s green.

I’m on my way to the Fujiya & Miyagi show, and listening to them on my N95. I didn’t bring my computer due to the fact that my bag was overflowing with stuff, but I did bring my Bluetooth keyboard. It’s really all I need, since the N95 is basically a full-featured computer with limited input devices.

This week has been really hectic, but in a good way. I loathed the rain, got drenched Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday driving my scooter.

On Tuesday, Christen, Waylon, Nick and I ended up drinking beers and going to Lipstick. It was really fun, save for the fact that we saw Her Cuntyness, Lacey, there. Thankfully, she left right after we saw her. People say you can only interact with people at the age when you met them, and I think that’s true. In Lacey’s case, I’m dealing with her on a sixth-grade level.

So I guess tomorrow I’m going to be heading down to Santa Clara to bring my uncle his leg brace and some shoes. I’ll probably end up bringing him some clothes too, since I have to stop at his place anyway.

I can’t wait to get a VAIO P, then I’ll have a full-featured micro-computer wherever I am. But they’re too slow right now.

This trip came so close to not happening, as I only had forty bucks when I woke up this morning. I’ll be lucky if I can afford BART fare into the city, lol. I get paid tonight at around 1 a.m., which will sustain my trip (I’m staying until I get bored).

We finally started moving…they’re doing some kind of work on the track, so there’s only one line available. I hope I get there on time…and also super-glad I took the earlier train.

I spent this week implementing tagging on my company’s website. It’s really cool, since they’re talking about important things. I could use things like categories and tags, but I don’t think they would be terribly useful. News has categories more clearly defined than my life, and often I cover two or three categories in one post. Actually, that’s kind of par for the course.

I have to say, taking that glucosamine has really helped my knee. I may even be able to jog again this month. I was going to go on a test jog around the cul de sac this morning, but I decided to wait, as I knew I’d be doing a lot of walking in San Francisco.

Now that I’m leaving, and there’s a finite amount of time I have left here, it just seems like such a waste that Andrew and I never ironed out all of our problems.

I told everyone at work that I’m leaving…I almost wish I could say that I hate Sacramento, but I don’t. I’ve had some amazing times and tons of fun memories. I’m fond of Sacramento in an odd way…not really for anything about the city itself, but the confluence of people, my goals, trials and tribulations, just lead me to really appreciate the contribution that living in Sacramento made to my life.

I’ll never fall for amother Adrian, I’ll never date a flake, I’ll never take the last light rail train to Del Paso Heights…a lot of lessons I learned here that would have had more damning consequences were I to learn them in the NYC metro area.

I can’t feel terribly nostalgic because the reality of leaving still hasn’t hit yet (I havne’t picked my classes, sent in my room deposit, etc.) I’m still waiting for this packet they are supposed to send me where they analyze my credits. The cogs of educational institutions grind slowly, I guess.

Last night I watched most of Repulsion with Catherine Denevue…Kathleen had recommended it to me as a great example of Roman Polanski’s work. It was one of his films I hadn’t seen, and with how much I loved Knife in the Water, his first film, I thought I’d check it out. I was going to finish watching it on the train, but I’m sick of lugging my MacBook around. MacBook Air is in the works for this year. I’m either buying a MBA or a VAIO P before I leave Sacramento. Speaking of films, my office has an occasional movie night, and they kind of had me pick a film.

I sold them on L’Eclisse, the third in Michaelangelo Antononi’s trilogy about alienation and such (L’Avventura and La Notte being the first and second). I hope it’s good, I’ve been developing a love affair with Antononi ever since I saw L’Avventura, which was incredible.

I keep meaning to go visit everyone I know in California, but my weekends keep getting eaten. Next weekend (as I just realized will conflict with movie night), my mom is coming in from New Jersey and is going to accompany my uncle from San Francisco back to NJ.

I got a call from the Sacramento sherriff yesterday asking me some specific questions about this Kathleen business. I really hope this blows over, for Kathy’s sake, but with the sheer volume of money involved and the complete lack of an explanation on her part, somebody is going to have to answer for this. As much as I get along with her, as much as she’s fun to talk to and has a great sense of humor, I feel that she must have known about this. As Christen astutely noted, her stories are following the same pattern that happened when we had our “intervention” during the time she was addicted to painkillers.

I don’t know what it’s going to be like living 3,000 miles from Christen…she’s the person that I most relate to on everything…it’s like we’re always on the same page or going through something similar. We’ve planned this amazing blowout New York trip to coincide with our last time hanging out. Can you say Depeche Mode + Madison Square Garden? Hell yeah.

I think we’re going to Six Flags this month. That’s one of my favorite memories, our impromptu trip to Vallejo with the fucking giraffe. Stopping for fruit at some shady stand, rocking out to Peaches all the time. That summer was just fucking fantastic.

I can’t concieve how much I’m going to miss her. Well, maybe in two years things will be different, and we can get a studio in Brooklyn :)

Well, it’s nearly seven p.m., I should get a sandwich or something. I wish I could afford a beer, but probably not. Depends on if they run the charges on credit or debit. I think they do credit. Might as well splurge.

I rather missed San Francisco. I really despise the city itself, but being in a city alien to me makes me feel good. I like being in a new place where for all practical purposes I know no one.

Categories: Ennui

Published:
March 5, 2009 – 6:49 pm
Author:
By A.

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I cooked up a scheme tonight that involves hiding my drying paintings in the attic so Grammie won’t fuck with them, and started on what I think is going to be an awesome painting.

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This one is on a 24×18 canvas, so it should look pretty impressive once it’s done. I need to get a few more tubes of paint (I’m still so pissed at Grammie for throwing out my oils after what, two years?) to actually do most of the colors, but I think it’s going to look awesome. I’m not sure about the background…I wish I could paint photorealistically, I think I’d have it hovering over a landscape. I should do some experimentation with at least some realism, although I’m only really interested in it for use in surrealism.

This is kind of a nonsequitur, but I love this pic of me in the mardi gras mask.

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And here’s Valerie and I that same night:

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Watched La Notte, the second in Michelangelo Antonioni’s trilogy. I fucking love Monica Vitti. She is beyond hot. In the movie, she’s reading this book, The Sleepwalkers and the Marcelo Mostrianni guy is entranced that she’s reading it (so now I have to get it on Amazon). I just love literary references that art film directors of the sixties wrote into their movies.

Categories: Ennui

Published:
March 2, 2009 – 1:27 am
Author:
By A.

patience is just another word for getting old 1

I got accepted to the school that I wanted to go to, William Paterson University.

So the next part of it is getting funding and all of that stuff. I think I’m in a pretty good position for that, since I only made $15,000 last year.

I finally got to show Kevin the site that I made for him, and he really liked it. I have to say, after not looking at it for a few weeks and seeing it fresh, I fell in love with it all over again.

That makes me feel like I really need to redesign my portfolio site. I don’t know what it is… designing things for other people I can get feedback on what they think works and what doesn’t… for my sites, I just get caught up in this feeling that what I make isn’t going to be avant-garde enough.

I’m very excited about going to see the show next week. This show is perfectly timed because I’m at my height of liking the band.

I’m also loving the start page I made… I ended up adding a whole bunch more websites to it, so I don’t forget to go to awesome websites like the onion that are only updated every week.

I’ve also been rediscovering podcasts. When I went through this phase about six months ago, I found to my dismay that most of my favorite podcasts weren’t being produced anymore or had been taken over in some way… like the guy and girl that used to do Rocketboom, the guy forced her out and then hired this bimbo that looked just like her to be sort of an imposter. I just couldn’t watch it after that. If he had gotten someone else I could have dealt with it… but there is no way that you can replace Amanda Congdon. I wonder if she’s doing any new video related projects.

She has some kind of weekly web thing, and apparently is developing a show for HBO. anyway, I’ve been watching This Week In Tech and Cranky Geeks with John C. Dvorak. also, I’ve been using Miro, the open source media center application, to keep up on Democracy Now and Bill Moyers Journal.

In a moment of supreme nostalgia, I even watched DiggNation for a minute. Oh my god, Kevin Rose has gotten old. I feel like Kevin Rose has squandered his indie cred by making asstons of money and not actually following through with all of his philosophizing about Digg being a way for users to decide what stories get on the front page.

There’s all this talk around the world about filtered Internet. I always thought that the Internet was going to free people from censorship and Big Media, but it turns out that we just keep repeating the same script in new communication mediums.

I’m very low on cash, and as I look at my hundred dollar neural impulse actuator, I’m feeling a little bit of gadget guilt, but the point was to buy this before Diablo III actually comes out, so I can play it immediately.

My goal for the afternoon: finish the book jacket for 2008, make a convincing sketch for the redesign of my portfolio site.

So apparently I’m getting like $800 back on my taxes. I’m not sure what the heck to get. I really want some kind of mobile computing device. I mean, I have my laptop which is kind of portable but not really because it’s too heavy for me to carry with my back problems and I have no car so it has to be on my back all day long.

I’ve been considering a few different options…I think I’m going to make a matrix to compare them.

Matrix completed…I want a Vaio P, but only if Ubuntu ran flawlessly on it, which requires some drivers that don’t exist yet.

I know that I had some goals for today… but I accomplished none of them. I was home alone today, so I took the opportunity to play really loud music and have my own Soulwax dance party. This song is kind of my anthem these days. Everything in my life revolves around my New York excuse.

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Is it time to somehow make peace with everyone in Sacramento that I’ve had rocky friendships with? Let’s recap:

Terry says I’m not allowed to talk about him, so uh, if you’re smart, you’ll know how to find out. Basically, if bullshit were music, he’d be a big brass band.

Mike: Drama queen extraordinaire, who (imho) needs to grow up and stop mooching off of people. An emotional vampire, he is completely unaware of the boundaries that normal human relationships are circumscribed with. I have never known someone to commit such embarrassing and damning faux pas with alarming regularity.

Brian: I lost all my respect for Brian as the result of a collection of circumstances which arose from his dating that Johnny kid. 1) he had refused every attempt to get him to actually ride the bus for a year until the Johnny thing happened 2) He put his health at risk due to that douchefag Johnny 3) He started tons of shit with me last year when I insisted that he needs to either go to school or work more than 10 hours a week 4) He has no self-sufficiency skills because he’s never lived outside of his mom’s house, he’s like a child that has to be babysat in terms of life skills.

Mario: Seriously, does this even need justification? Mario is completely unable to have a normal human relationship with anyone. You can’t introduce him to anyone, because immediately he will desperately throw himself at them and try to get them to have sex with him. I can literally produce a flowchart of his interactions with people. He needs to be in a sadomasochistic relationship where a man completely controls his life, I don’t think he can ever really be happy without that. But he just keeps up this indomitable parade of guys he meets online who stop talking to him after a week after they realize that everything he told them was a lie.

I’m not really sure how to explain this, but you know in normal relationships you build up a kind of trust— some kind of social currency where you know people will be there for you through thick and thin relative to how strong your friendship is and how long you’ve known each other. Like if Christen showed up at my house at 3 a.m. and said “We’re going to Boston. Now.” My first words wouldn’t be “Why,” they’d be “Let me get my coat.”

When you are friends with Mario, he will only help you or be there for you when it’s in his best interests.

He will only give you things in exchange for you telling him how great and how generous he is for giving them.

He endlessly expresses dissatisfaction with his life but is completely unwilling to do anything to change it.

AS A FUCKING BONUS: He will talk shit about you at your fucking birthday party and brag about how he got your present for five bucks at the thrift store.

The straw that broke the camel’s back, so speak, was when I noticed (I know this sounds incredibly petty, but it hit a nerve) that Hector, who he had met about two months ago, was at the very top of his top 16 and I was way at the bottom. I asked him why, and he ended up giving me this misty-eyed speech about how Hector was just such an amazing person and how he liked him so much. Which brings us to,

Hector: This dude I just don’t get. he’s on tons of drugs all the time, he’s like 45 pounds and 4′ 8.” He didn’t do his research and thought Sac State was actually a good college. I just don’t think I have enough money to really get him… half of his MySpace pictures are in Florence and Paris. So, I was a bit perturbed at that speech having to be the person that he would complain about his life to for like six months, and then some douche in Armani Exchange comes along and Mario is swept off his feet.

It is impossible for Mario to have a normal human relationship because he is obsessed with being abused. That’s why he gets along so well (or rather, how he doesn’t but keeps coming back for more) with that Erika girl. I just can’t sign on his lifestyle anymore… it’s incredibly depressing being him and the scent of despair and desperation rubs off on you if you’re around him.

You know, it’s been years since I’ve done this. It feels so much better to just get it out on paper.

Categories: Ennui

Published:
March 1, 2009 – 12:22 am
Author:
By A.