Daily Archives: October 10, 2009

I feel like an interloper in the human race. 0

The show was so-so, Nomi only sang one song. She’s sitting across from me as I type this, but she’s surrounded by her friends and I can’t think of anything to say other than she’s not as pretty as she looks in the You Belong video.

The quality of the DJing dropped off considerably…before it was immaculate space disco, now it’s just ho-hum untz-untz-untz.

I’m on my fourth PBR, and it tastes like the runoff from rotted garbage. Suzanne was here, we talked for a while, but then I lost her in the crowd. I should just go, but I’m loath to walk back to the L train. To go back before 2am will mean defeat.

The worst kind of defeat, that brings me closer to the dehumanizing, all-conforming suburb of the soul.

I don’t enjoy the things that other people do. I feel like an alien.

Neo-Luddites who can’t miss a show

Scabies-infested silver medals

Transgender superstars with bad skin

Shitty hip-hop act that just won’t end

Let’s do some free associations from my childhood.

Ahem.

I overanalyze myself into oblivion. What’s going through his head? Indifference? Boredom? The biggest insult is to not be thought of.

Also, for the record, you are pathetic for going back with him. At one point I thought you had a future. Now I know I was wrong. He isn’t a person, he’s a disease. An all-consuming disease of the soul.

I’m going to wake up tomorrow alone. And Tuesday and Wednesday and Saturday and Monday. It never ends.

I need a fucking cigarette.

Categories: Ennui

Published:
October 10, 2009 – 9:46 pm
Author:
By A.

Wish I’d brought my iPod 0

I’m waiting for the bus to NY, tonight is an awesome special event with Nomi (of Hercules and Love Affair) and members of Metro Area (a band I never thought I’d see live ever.

Last night was kind of a bust, Jon and I were going to go to this thing about John Lennon but it was closed. We watched a Woody Allen movie instead. Then we smoked hookah, had some beer, and watched It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

I was going to go horseback riding with my mom for her birthday today, but it was raining so we couldn’t go.

So I’m hoping tonight will make up for this weekend’s numerous false starts. I did, however, do something awesome. On Thursday, I took the NJT rail home instead of the bus. It’s $4 cheaper round-trip, and I can easily ride my bike to the station.

It goes way faster (no traffic) and the route is as the crow flies since the rail infrastructure predated the highway system. In a word: awesome.

It also leaves more frequently than the bus.

I desperately need to go clothes shopping, but I got up at 3pm this afternoon, so that wasn’t exactly an option. I’m hoping that I can get to Macy’s before they close because I desperately need new shoes before tonight. Mine are hellza falling apart. Also, since I lost so much weight, new stuff is in order. I just need a day with no resopnsibilities and nowhere to go, so I can just restock everything.

I also finally looked over my MetroCard purchases for the past three months, and I spend easily $70 a month on them. Might as well get the $90 monthly pass. At least I won’t have to bother with topping off my card each week.

My goal to stop my hemohrraging (sp?) of money, I think, has been successful. My net worth is about $50 more than it was last pay period, so my money-saving measures have paid off. I just need to be frugal until December, so I can come visit everyone in CA.

I’m excited to turn in my story on Monday. I’m going to revise it one more time after the weekend is over so I can have some new insights into it. My bus is 20 minutes late. No shoes for me, I surmise.

(Posted from my phone, plz excuse spelling)

Categories: Ennui

Published:
October 10, 2009 – 4:40 pm
Author:
By A.