Will ditch Blogger as soon as I can make/find a cool template.

MIGRATION TO THE NEW SERVER IS COMPLETE!! WOOT!!!

Well, it’s 90% complete. I’m thinking of ditching Blogger (due to its subpar performance as of late. It seems to be working great with the new server though, I’m not sure if I will do it yet. I need to get the site functioning again by uploading all the files that were on my old server and then perhaps turn my attention tothe tiring and probably wrist intensive task of setting a WordPress.

(hour or two)

Domain name transferred.
All files uploaded (except for the fiction blog, I think that can die).
Simple new intro page made to demonstrate the server change.
In the process of setting up WordPress. More later.

Today sucked. I’m making myself a defeat omelet and watching The Daily Show in self-pity. More details later.

I just finished Player Piano. It wasn’t as good as any of Vonnegut’s other work that I’ve read, but it was okay. It should have been a short story, not a novel. I should go into town maybe. I’ll have a meal and then perhaps go drop off Joe’s glasses (he left them in my car).

> The Faint – The Conductor

My dad is being a real fuckhead. He wants me to clean up my room because he’s showing the house to some dickwads that want to buy it tomorrow. I’m only doing it because if I don’t then he will. I got up too late to go to the river (4:30 p.m.). Today sucks. Next week will suck too. My boss will be back and I’ll have to kiss his ass as usual. I’m going to tell him to go fuck himself if he wants me to write something. That’s not in my job description.

I don’t want tomorrow to happen. My wrist is killing me from using the mouse. I need to get a new job. My wrist feels like someone dissected it with a sharp spoon in my sleep. At least only my mouse hand hurts ever since I started using voice-recognition exclusively. I had to try and stop myself with all my might against buying this CD by The Hacker that I wanted on iTunes. I’m still really paced off at that Fischerspooner CD I bought that was scratched to shit. $20 in the fucking toilet. Well, I guess in a few months when I go down to Sacramento to look at apartments I can use Kelly’s CD resurfacer. I am in SUCH a bad mood. Fuck people looking at this house. What a shitty father my dad is. He needs to die. Slowly. Cancer wouldn’t be slow enough. I’m going with a degenerative nerve disease, like ALS or something. Okay. I need to clean my room and then leave this shithole. I hate being here.

Misty cut my hair. Pictures and reflections tomorrow.

I feel dead. Changing the person I look like on the outside only kills me on the inside. I want my hair back now. But I would just want to cut it again. I never feel beautiful no matter what my fucking hair looks like. Fuck it all.

“He knew with all his heart that the human situation was a frightful botch, but it was such a logical, intelligently arrived at botch that he couldn’t see how history could possibly have led anywhere else.”

–Kurt Vonnegut, Player Piano

I’ve been thinking lately about how much I want a small form factor PC, and on a whim today I went on the Internet to see how much it would cost to build a small form factor system roughly equivalent to what I have now. It would cost $800, not including the PCI-Express equivalent of my sexy video card. This is the small form factor case that I decided on:

http://global.shuttle.com/Product/Barebone/SB81P.asp

The reason I love this so much is that the computer is about the size of two 8 1/2 by 11 pieces of paper held 8 inches apart. In short, a third of my current computer’s size.

The point is, I’m pretty sure I could get $800 for my current computer on eBay. So when I save up a bunch of money, I’m going to sell my current computer and then buy the components for the new small form factor PC.

I have also been really wanting that external drive so that I could store my files on it between computers. Oh well. I already promised myself that I will spend no money until I save up at least $1,000. However, I will buy the external drive at the end of the month.

Oh yeah, speaking about the end of the month my mother is going to visit after all. She talked with one of her old friends here and he is going to let her stay with him. So she’s going to be here in like two weeks. It’s kind of sad, I wanted her to wait until later in the year when I had my apartment in Sacramento. Oh well. I have been thinking about it and I’m realizing that if I want to get out of here anytime soon, I’m going to have to get a second job. I was thinking maybe the theater, since I know a lot of the people that work there. Well, I will see what my savings is looking like at the end of the month. I guess I could calculate it out now.

Current balance:

Savings: $300

Checking: $232.71

Next paycheck should be $200-ish

$200
-$50 high-speed Internet
-$140 car insurance + gas

Well, that doesn’t leave me with much to save. I need to work more hours, but I think that my next paycheck will be a bit dismal since I didn’t work too many hours this week. I need to make it up next week. I need to do a bunch of graphics and work on the databases.

I just hate sitting around doing nothing on weekends when I could be working to get out of this hellhole. Fuck. I need to go take a shower.

> Miss Kittin and the Hacker – You And Us

The road trip this week made me think of this Miss Kittin lyric from the song above:

“We take planes and hotels every weekend
we drive on the highway to unknown places
looking at the landscape running behind the window
we are all alone
listening to something in the stereo
we would like to see the skyline and silly lights of New York or Tokyo
and then come back to the green fields we know
and do nothing
and sleep
and do that again and again”

I’m about 100 pages into Kurt Vonnegut’s Player Piano. It is much less hallucinogenic then his later novels. It said on the back that this was one of his first, if not the first. I don’t remember. Today I have been feeling very dizzy and disembodied.

I went online looking for solutions to back up all of my data, and came across this deliciously sexy USB 2.0 hard drive enclosure. It’s $40, and I would have to buy a drive to put inside of it. But I suppose I could just use one of my old 10GB drives to back up my most important files until I can afford another 200GB drive for complete backup.

I must not buy it until I get my next paycheck though. I am alotting myself around $40 per pay period to spend on frivolities and technology. I still won’t be able to save up enough to leave in time, it seems. Maybe. I’m not sure. I just need to not buy anything. Here’s a pic of the drive. It’s supposed to have blue LEDs that light up behind the grille. Isn’t it sexy? I’m trying to change my computer aesthetic from gloss black to shiny aluminum.

Must go to sleep. Must stop wanting things. Must look into a second job.

> Depeche Mode – Personal Jesus
> Placebo – Bulletproof Cupid
> Glenn Miller Orchestra – In the Mood
> Semisonic – Closing Time
> Jamiroquai – Seven Days in Sunny June

I have been having an incredible amount of problems publishing my blog. Perhaps it has to do with the domain name change, I’m not sure. I feel suffocated in my own thoughts. My mind is overflowing with the half-digested images of dreams, and caffiene-crazed sexual fantasies.

I feel like my brain is imploding with all the new matter that has been created inside of it. I just need to sleep more and consolidate my memories. I had this incredibly strange dream about this guy that looked like a model but in the dream was Amanda’s boyfriend. He was ripped and incredibly hot and I think was coming onto me. For some reason, Ben was there too and assured me that the model/Amanda’s boyfriend was one of the models for a Sean Cody [gay porn company] video shoot. I had legions of other strange dreams, but that was the one that most stuck out in my mind for the sheer WTF factor.

Speaking of Amanda, I was reading her blog and she linked to the most amazing site, PostSecret. Here are some of the postcards that really moved me.

Anyway, me and Joe finally went up to Brookings to check out that Fun 4 Nickels place that we had always planned to go to. There was a bit of a catch, there was a one dollar entrance fee, but it was much cheaper than the theater and the dance machine was much newer. We danced until we couldn’t dance anymore. It was very fun. We talked about all the latest technology, and he sort of wished me well on my eventual relocation to Sacramento.

I wish I had something meaningful to talk about, or even something banal yet entertaining, but I have nothing. I am nothing. I must leave this town.

I am now back from the incredibly long trip. Omg. I am so tired. I didn’t make it to Sacramento. I was too exhausted. Must get ready for work. So tired…

Blogger was giving me all these lame publishing errors this morning, so I didn’t get to publish this until tonight.

I am in the process of transferring my domain name to a new provider (whether it will work, I don’t know), but the transfer is supposed to take place in five days or so. There will probably be a point where the transfer is done but I haven’t made the new provider point the domain name to this server. So there might be a few days where the site is completely inaccessible. I’m leaving to go help molly move today, so that’s why the transfer won’t be perfectly smooth. And it just might be. But in case the site goes down I just wanted you guys to know that I’m not dead.

> Fischerspooner – Just Let Go
> Golden Boy feat. Miss Kittin – Rippin Kittin
> Assemblage 23 – Naked

I went over to Molly’s tonight so we could all plan the move, and we ended up staying until midnight cleaning her refrigerator and packing stuff. I really need to get some sleep. And I need to pack. I am completely unprepared for this trip. I need to call Joe in the morning to see if he will come with me. It would be incredibly cool if he could. It’s sad, I was looking forward to a long road trip with lots of cool conversations but the way it has worked out we will all be in separate cars with no one to talk to.

I am incredibly exhausted. I don’t know how I’m going to load all of those millions of boxes. I guess this is when all of the exercising pays off. I really hope I get my Ladytron shirt tomorrow. Strangely, the last shirt of the three I ordered arrived today. I really like it. It was an extra-large, but I used my masterful sewing skills to transform it into a medium.

I really can’t think of anything to say, except for that I have been reading Understanding Media by Marshall McLuhan and it has been incredible. I don’t remember why it is incredible, because it is 12:37 a.m., but I will be able to articulate it next week.

I also started that Chuck P. novel that Molly lent me. It’s incredibly cool. I really must stop this blathering and get to sleep. Okay. Must close iTunes. Must go to sleep.

This is the most disturbing thing I’ve seen all week:

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/tetka.html